Top Five Ways to Convince Your Wife You Need More Cigars

Read this if you want more cigars :)

1.  Donate Some of Your Cigars to Cigars for Warriors Next Time You Make a Purchase.  

If you are getting rid of some, but getting some back, then it all evens out right?  So what if you got rid of some just “good” sticks your friend gave you, and that you are buying some top tier cigars, she won't know the difference.  It's a numbers game.  If 10 – 10 = 0, did you really get anything new?  Besides, you helped out our soldiers and this America.  It would be un-American to not support our troops.


2. Confuse Her With Bar Graphs, Pie Charts, and Statistics.  

 

“Look dear if I smoke X cigars a week for Y years then I need Z cigars in my inventory to keep up over time.  On top of that, honey, I like aged stock so I need to purchase X cigars every Y years for the cigars to be Z old by the time I smoke them.  Everyone knows smoking a Cohiba with less than 4-5 years is a waste.  We don’t want to burn our money.  I also can't have my humidors at less than half capacity as that would lead to the humidity swaying too much when I get cigars out.  If you just look at this graph of optimal humidity and temperature vs humidor fullness you will see I'm on the cusp of being too low.  I really need to bulk up the humidor for the safety of the herd.”


3. Look at How Much Money I Saved Us by Buying These on Sale!


She does this all the time fellas so it's time to turn it back around.  “They were originally $200 a box but now on clearance for $100 just because they redesigned their bands! What a deal! With that extra $100 I bought another box so now we saved $200, meaning we saved as much as I spent! They were practically free!”


4.  It's the Manly Thing to Do!


Just show her how Clint Eastwood looked pretty badass in Dirty Harry with a cigar in his mouth.  What about Tony Soprano or Tony Montana?  Real men tend to smoke cigars.  If you run out of cigars, how are you supposed to be manly?  Does she want to be married to a Nancy?  Of course not so a cigar purchase is in order!


5.  Hide Them and Lie.

 

I caution you that this actually is not a good way to convince your wife; however, at some point we have all debated it.  Hide the cigars and lie about them.  Whether that means you have them sent to your work, you get a PO Box, or you rush home before she gets there to put them in the humidor, the name of the game is deceit.  Now we all know deep down this is idiotic, and not going to get us anywhere, but dammit we are men.  We do stupid things at times.  I’m sure it will work out well for you though you big smart guy you. 

 

So there you have it fellas.  The top five ways to convince your wife you need more cigars.  Let us know how it works out. 

Views: 242

Comment by Craig of @CitrusWalkCC on August 13, 2014 at 12:14pm
#5 is great unless she pays the bills and sees the credit card statement.
Comment by Stefan Lindblad on August 13, 2014 at 12:58pm

is #5 really a way to convince her? seems like that'd be a sure-fire way for her to tighten her grip on your man-hood, if you catch my meaning...

Comment by Tyler on August 13, 2014 at 2:42pm

Haha yes number 5 is probably not the best option.  But we never learn. 


Retailer
Comment by 302JH (Jose) on August 13, 2014 at 5:42pm

1, 3 and mostly 5 works for me

Comment by Charlie on August 13, 2014 at 7:47pm

;) No wife here so I buy as many cigars as I want. Most of my extra cash goes towards premium cigars....

Comment by neal tanner on August 13, 2014 at 8:49pm

My wife doesn't mind my cigar purchases as long as I dont go crazy. Heck she even bought me a climate control humidor for my birthday. I still use 1 and 3 on occasion though.

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