Completely Clueless Cigar Newb: A Plan to Win

Alright FedHeds, I have begun playing a new game, one which I’ve decided you get to watch, if you’re interested.  I graduated high school at 115 pounds.  I got married when I was 23 at 160 pounds. I am now 15 years married, and I am neither 115 nor 160 pounds. I would like to change that, and I have tried on and off over the years, probably like many of you.  I have no health problems other than simply being a 160 pound man in a 228 pound body.  However, my wife has Type 2 diabetes, and is working very hard to STOP having it.  Her biggest obstacle?  Her snack-monkey husband, who has a bad habit of bringing in bags of chips or deciding that pizza is a good idea for dinner.  I have decided to both better my own health AND be more supportive of helping my wife beat diabetes by getting my own eating and weight on track.

What does this have to do with cigars?  Glad you asked.  Unlike previous attempts at weight loss, I have a new motivator – cigars.  I have recently put a lot of effort into filling up my humidor.  Now I have a nice little selection which I am going to use to motivate my weight-loss/better eating efforts.  And the idea is quite simple: Lose weight, smoke a cigar.  I have established a number of weight goals, in 5 pound increments. Every 5 pounds I lose, I get to smoke a cigar from my “cheap” bin (bundle cigars, mostly).  Every 10 pound mark is worth a better cigar (Alec Bradleys, Rocky Patels, Fuentes, etc.).  I also have two cigars, a Liga Privada T-52 and an Opus X Super Belicoso, set aside for hitting 20 and 40 pounds, respectively.  My ultimate goal is to get back to 160, or a 68 pound loss.  I don’t currently have another high end stick for 60 pounds, but I’ll be keeping an eye out for possibilities. Additionally, my ultimate reward for making it all the way to 160 hasn’t been decided yet, either.  A box of cigars?  A new big humidor?  We shall see.  Now, I know this seems like a dumb idea, to begin restricting my cigars right before the raffle and possibly winning a pile of new cigars, but it needs to be done.  I will be working using the My Fitness Pal App on my iPad, which is also available online at , which tracks calories, recipes, exercise, and weight.

Let me know, 1st, what you all think of this plan?  I know for you daily smokers, this would be a lot tougher to do, but I’m a weekend smoker, so this is a little more doable.  Second, I’m deciding whether to keep blogging on my progress. I was considering checking in either once a week or maybe just when I hit those 5 pound checkpoints.  Each cigar I get to will get a Completely Clueless Newb review.  Finally, I am fielding ideas on what would be a good final reward for that final goal.

So, what do you think? Sound off, by all means.

Views: 42

Comment by Smokin Logan (Man Angel #1) on September 6, 2013 at 1:56pm

Well, I am in the same boat as you, sort of. I weigh more than I should, even do the point where a bitch c*** of a doctor called me, and I quote "morbidly obese". I applaud your idea but my first question is how much do you smoke? Daily, a few a week, a few a month?

Comment by Generally Useful Jared on September 6, 2013 at 2:21pm

Once a week if I can pull it off. Weekend grilling or some such.  During the summer I was getting more, sometimes once a day, but not now that I'm back to work at the college. However, I know I'm looking at going from once a week to possibly once a month. That ALL depends on how active I am toward my goal.  Maybe someone who smokes more often (or has more cigars!) could set like 1-pound goals. I would, but I know I can lose it faster than that. I've already lost 2 pounds since I started 2 days ago.

Comment by 007MI6 on September 6, 2013 at 2:56pm

Hmmmm. To be absolutely honest, you might be setting up for failure on this one. Simply for the fact that I think the goals are too large. Makes it hard to keep going if one little thing goes wrong, and they will.

1) Since you are a weekend smoker, maybe set a vaguer, weekly goal. If you weight less on Friday than you did on Monday, then you can smoke from the value bin that weekend. Or set a value to that loss of say 1-3 pounds. That is still a nice weight loss.

2) Set higher 'value' cigars at key points. Say at your 10 pound mark, you can smoke X cigar. At 20 pounds the better X cigar, at 30 pounds an even better X cigar.

3) Once you reach your goal make a box purchase of a cigar you have always wanted to buy a whole box of.

Note 1: I watch my calories fairly close and I exercise, and really watch where I am. That's just a segway. ;) The weight drops quick at first and then tapers off. Thus the quick rewards in the beginning motivate you to keep going, and make the end goal easier. Everyone has a weight that just maintains naturally, unless you become a body builder. I hover right at 200-205 normally. But I have a lot of muscle and I know people who are MUCH 'bigger' than I am that weigh less. I know this may be "Duh!" paragraph, but it is an observation I wanted to put out there.

Note 2: Before I got married I hit the weight loss hard. I can't remember how many months it took, it was less than six, but I went from 216 to 174 pounds. But for me to stay at 174 pounds requires CONSTANT work. Just so you know that I am not just talking out of my ass. lol

Anyway, just some quick, rambling thoughts I had. Do with them what you will. :)

Comment by Generally Useful Jared on September 6, 2013 at 3:20pm

1) I will definitely make adjustments in the schedule if needed, but I know how fast I can lose weight if/when I choose to stay on track. Last time around I lost 15 lbs in just under 2 months - and then it was my birthday. I was a distance runner in high school, so I know how to make this happen, just needed the motivation. 

2) Definitely open to rearranging my stick choices, maybe cheaper ones early the first few markers, better ones along the way. That part is somewhat up for grabs yet. Still like the idea of having particular sticks at certain milestones, but the arrangement of those might be altered.

3) DEFINITELY considering a box purchase for my final goal.

Thanks for the 2 cents! I'll keep you all up.

Comment by Generally Useful Jared on September 7, 2013 at 2:05pm
P.S. - Quick update, already down 3.2 lbs. :) That's how I roll.
Comment by Bill Williams on September 7, 2013 at 2:32pm

Congrats on having a plan, any plan.. there can always be a plan b if a doesn't work. I think it's great when people choose to lose weight and we all know it has to be better for us. I leveled off after losing 60 and need to get back after it. I always find reasons to "cheat" some. Stinky's BD tonight, The HERF Friday, Beerfest and 150 different beers for $35. I know I need to get serious and you are a great inspiration. Thanks

Maybe mine will be one less cigar a day if I don't reach my weekly goal. (PS, does anyone know how to do that purge thing?)

Jared congrats and good luck.

Comment by Generally Useful Jared on September 7, 2013 at 3:12pm
Glad I could motivate you, or at least put the idea in your head! My system is in place now, and I'm going to stick to it. Any attempts to wiggle things now, and my wife will call me the dreaded A-word. That Beerfest sounds fantastic though! Got a healthy supply of that, but have to bust tail on the treadmill for beer calories! 30-60 min on there is usually worth 1-2 good craft beers. Beer is my workout motivator. Don't workout, don't get anything but light beer; don't lose weight, don't get cigars. Has there ever been more powerful extrinsic motivation? Speaking of which, I'm smoking ribs for dinner, so I'll be down on the treadmill watching football!
Comment by Smokin Logan (Man Angel #1) on September 7, 2013 at 6:23pm

I think it is super cool that you are trying to motivate yourself. I would personally set a pounds per week goal and go from there. Maybe if you lose two pounds from Sunday to Saturday, you get to smoke a cigar Sunday. I would be willing to throw in some cigars to help motivate you, once you hit milestones like 15, 30, and 45 pounds.

Comment by Generally Useful Jared on September 7, 2013 at 7:05pm
I know for certainty I can burn 5 pounds every 1-2 weeks when I put my mind to it. I have considered making a more flexible plan, but then I thought, "How bad do I want it?" It'll happen. I expect to have a cigar in the first week, the second within 2 weeks after that. I want to lose weight. I want to smoke cigars. I will make this happen. Busted tail on the treadmill to earn 3 beers and some ribs for dinner. Cigars, ribs, beer - very good motivators. And I greatly appreciate the offer of support!
Comment by Janis Klavins on September 9, 2013 at 2:45am
This is great and I will definitely try to follow along with your progress. I am in a similar body/weight situation (but a good amount of muscle), and I am definitely trying to shed some lbs before my wedding next September. It definitely helps that the lady is using weight watchers again and I can "look over her shoulder" and use the system to track points for myself ;) I sprained my rotator cuff a few weeks ago, so as soon as it feels 100% I can continue with the scheduled xbox kinect fitness programs (I know they sound lame but I lost 15 lbs in a few weeks in the spring using them) Cheers and good luck!!


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