1.  Smoking Too Damn Fast!

 

Where's the fire pal? Well it's frickin' raging at the tip of your cigar when you smoke it too fast. Ya, I know it tastes good, but you're gonna ruin that goodness by giving it the Lewinsky treatment. 

 

Really hot fire will cause the tobacco to put out nasty flavors which, unless you're smoking a Swisher Sweet, are anathema to the whole point of smoking cigars in the first place.

 

Here's a tip...cigars are to be sipped, not chugged. That's why there are no "cigar-kegs" to do stands on. By taking a hit every 20-30 seconds, the coal will stay cool and properly unlock the seductive flavors you've paid your hard earned money to enjoy!

 

Hey, you're here to sit back, look cool, impress the ladies, and enjoy that stogie. You've earned it!

 

2. Cutting Off Too Much Of The Cap

 

Such a rookie mistake. You'd think some of these guys are at rabbi try-outs the way they treat their cigars. (And I'm Jewish, so I know.)

 

Let me tutor you like Master Yoda. Clip the cigar so that 1/8 in of the cap remains in place.  You don't need to lop off the whole butt. Just nip the tip. Your cigar should have a nice opening for the plumes of smoke you will soon extract. This should be surrounded by a small ring of cap-expertly cut like a Samurai warrior with 20/20 vision.

 

This will hold the wrapper on your cigar in place and KEEP IT FROM UNRAVELING!

 

There is no try...there is do or do not.

 

3. Lighting It Like A Chump

 

You know a cigar patsy by the way they light a stick up. (Prepositional phrase at the end of a sentence. Ya...that just happened!)

 

If I see someone who clips a cigar and immediately puts it in their mouth and tries to torch the end...I quickly try to sell em a bridge in Brooklyn. They don't have a freakin' clue.

 

First, it looks stupid. You can't see the end of the cigar, pal. You're looking at the thing cross-eyed trying to see whats-what down there. Marvelous way to make every lady smoker in the vicinity question your manhood.

 

Second, your gonna screw up your cigar.  Lighting it too fast will have the same effect as smoking it too fast. Its gonna wreck flavor and that's tragic.

 

Listen Patawan, after clipping, gently toast the foot of your cigar until evenly warm.  Not on fire! Just warm and toasty. After that, then insert into mouth...gently puff...and continue to evenly toast the end with fire. It will light within 10-15 seconds and all will be well.

 

Bonus: Be sure to never touch the flame to your cigar.  Keep it just off the flame so as not to char that beauty.  You gotta respect it!

 

4. Re-lighting It Like A Chump

 

It happens to us all. Outside on the deck smoking and the wife calls you inside to hold the baby, or take a phone call, or you get talking so much that your cig goes out on ya.

 

What to do? Most people knock the ash off and burn the living hell out of it to get it relit. And ya, it will relight but at what price?  FLAVOR! Thats the price.

 

Here's the secret to relighting a cigar so that maximum flavor is maintained. First, gently knock any excess ash off as best you can.  Second, toast the outer wrapper of the cigar until it kindles and glows.  Third and most important, blow OUT through the cigar, not back into your mouth.  I call this reverse puffing.  It should take 10-15 seconds of this before the wrapper lights the filler of the cigar. Now you can continue to puff your stick without it tasting like Kingsford Charcoal.

 

5. Tapping Somebody Else's Ash

 

Oh how I love the ash! It tells you so much about the cigar quality and its fun to watch grow! A gratuitous cigar ash may seem juvenile, but it's one of life's simple pleasures. So back off and don't try to steal my childhood!

 

But I digress, whether its bumping into someone's arm at a crowded herf, or sampling someone else's cigar (which is gross and not recommended) do make every effort to maintain and nurture their coveted ash.

 

I once had someone tap my cigar with their finger so as to ash my cigar for me...while I was holding it! Definitely a smoking faux pas that warranted serious repercussions.  I won't say what happened, but suffice it to say all options were on table. 

 

6. Being a Cigar Mooch

 

Are you this guy? Go drown yourself. Oh yeah, and maybe next time when we do lunch, why don't you try buying for once. Cheap ass!

Views: 802

Comment by Jose Perfecto on February 7, 2012 at 6:29am

This a great 101-- mix of cigar smoking/prep 101 and cigar etiquette (oh how we prize our ash!). 

Comment by Patrick Campbell on June 5, 2012 at 3:37pm

you guys are too funny! this site and the forums are awesome.  

Comment by Robert Wesner on August 10, 2012 at 8:23pm
Does anyone light their cigar before cutting to make sure none of that non-sense fumes go into your cigar? Or is this not needed.

Brand
Comment by Kyle Hoover on August 11, 2012 at 12:28pm
I never do that. If you use quality fluid or cedar...not an issue.

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